Being a caregiver for a parent, spouse, or adult child is often described as an act of love—and it is. But what is rarely spoken out loud are the difficult feelings that exist right alongside that love: guilt and resentment.

Caring for a loved one through illness, especially in their final stages, can be one of the most intense experiences of your life. And when that role suddenly ends with their death, caregivers are left not only to grieve the loss, but to make sense of complex, often conflicting emotions—chief among them, guilt and relief.

Watching a parent’s memory fade can feel like losing them one story at a time. As a psychotherapist who works with seniors and families experiencing the impact of dementia, I walk alongside adult children facing this heartbreaking reality, offering clinical insight, emotional steadiness, and practical strategies from the first unsettling signs through late‑stage care.

For many caregivers, the emotional toll of tending to someone else’s needs can be just as demanding as the physical work. Let’s explore why that guilt shows up, why it's important to challenge it, and how caregivers can begin to take meaningful, restorative breaks—without apology.

Do you feel that your mother or father needs more help than you can provide? As an adult child, do you see what you want to see in relation to your parents' abilities and not wanting to let go of how it used to be? Do you feel you are aware of any decline or changes?

As a caregiver do you ever find yourself getting angry at your elderly parents? Do you lose patience? Feel frustrated? You are not alone! You have a lot of company!

As a caregiver are you worried about what the future holds? Are you at odds with your elderly relative about life's decisions?

Caregiving for older relatives has always been a concern of families.

Guilt is the conflict between reality and your perception of the "ideal you." The list of things you might feel guilty about are endless, but this article will focus on caregiver's guilt relating to decision making for their aging parents. You can feel guilty about making a decision or you can feel guilty about not making a decision.

Have you recently moved an older relative to an assisted living facility? Are you still in the process of making that decision? Decision time, while not easy, is just the first step. It may be a yes or no answer, to move or not to move. But the next step is how everyone adjusts to the move if "yes" is the answer.

We are all aging, whether we like it or not. We think about aging. We talk about aging. We worry about getting older. Society often puts a negative spin on getting older. Changing our view and thinking positive can put us on the road to successful aging.