Guilt and Resentment: The Two Emotions No Caregiver Wants to Admit

Being a caregiver for a parent, spouse, or adult child is often described as an act of love—and it is. But what is rarely spoken out loud are the difficult feelings that exist right alongside that love: guilt and resentment. Most caregivers don’t feel they’re “allowed” to have these emotions, and yet, they show up uninvited, especially in quiet moments when you’re exhausted and stretched thin.

The Hidden Weight of Guilt

Guilt often shows up the moment you begin to feel tired, impatient, or frustrated. You tell yourself, I should be more patient… I should be grateful they’re still here… I shouldn’t complain. The guilt is compounded if others see you as strong and endlessly giving. Caregivers often feel guilty for even wanting time for themselves, as if that desire is a betrayal of their loved one. But the truth is: wanting rest, peace, or even a break doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you human.

The Resentment No One Talks About

Resentment is even harder to admit. Maybe you’re the only sibling showing up. Others promise to help but never do. Or your life has been placed on hold while everyone around you keeps living theirs. You might resent the illness, the situation, or even the person you’re caring for—and then feel more guilt for thinking that way.

Resentment doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It means you are carrying a heavy load, often without recognition or respite. Resentment grows in isolation and silence. It grows when your needs are erased, even by yourself.

You Are Not a Bad Person

One of the most powerful truths in caregiving is this: two emotions can coexist. You can love deeply and still feel trapped. You can want the best for your loved one and still long for freedom. Feeling resentment does not make you cruel. Feeling guilt does not mean you’ve done anything wrong. These emotions point to an unmet need within you—usually the need for support, rest, validation, and space to feel what you feel.

You Deserve Support To

You shouldn’t have to carry all of this alone. Therapy provides a space where you can finally tell the truth about how you’re feeling—without being judged. Talking to a therapist can help you understand where your guilt and resentment come from, and how to set boundaries without shame. You can learn how to care for someone else without abandoning yourself in the process.

A Compassionate Next Step

If you are overwhelmed with guilt or silently struggling with resentment, know that you don’t have to keep that inside. Speaking with a therapist can help you find relief, clarity, and even small ways to take care of yourself again. You deserve a place to talk about the things no one else understands.

Do you want help carrying the emotional weight of caregiving? Reach out today to schedule a free 15 minute session and give yourself the support and space you’ve been missing.